Logging Off?

Yeah, 10 hours yesterday / 

I am happy though / (happier than most) / 

Satisfied, even / I mean, the rush is never as strong as the first time it hit / but at least something is guaranteed / it’s the internet /

there always *has* to be something out there / something else to know / something new I haven’t heard of before /

i know i’m hooked / but you have to understand / we all are

tapping, liking, scrolling, 




quitting and coming back. /

it’s the media age / trapped in this cycle /

why? what do you mean *why*? / why do we orbit the sun? /

what if i miss something? / 

what if im not always available / 

what if they dont like me /

(what if they start seeing me the way i see myself?)

and then /

what if i try to leave and never find this feeling again / this satiation again / a cousin to satisfaction, who got all the worst family genes / processing no more than 60 seconds of information / 

(why would i leave? how would i survive in the real world anyways?)

i mean what if /

what if i go /

and they dont notice im gone /

what if im not connected / what if the end of the world is finally coming and i dont hear about it / what if someone dies and im not the first to know about it /

what if i could make a difference / what if i log off and nothing is any different /

can i just keep scrolling / waiting 2 find the 1 video to make me laugh 2day / keep losing myself in this pocket square / the size of my world / ? /

keep waiting for a buzz / for my connection / waiting for some1 to notice my absence / waiting to get back online / ? /

because what if i disconnect and never find what ive been searching for / hoping for /

what if no one ever searches my name when im gone /

what if all the noises stop and there is nothing to refresh /

what if all the noises stop and i have to deal with my thoughts /

what if there are no thoughts /

what if /

i am completely alone

and there is silence /

? /

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