What it Means to Be Asexual: A Poem

Asexuality: The Oft-Invisible Orientation

They say asexuality

is a lack of sexual feelings

but nowhere in me do I lack

nowhere in me am I empty.


I wish my sexuality

wasn’t defined

by what I am not.


I wish my sexuality

wasn’t dictated

by feelings

I don’t know.


For years we wait,

the aces and I,

to be mentioned and loved.


We are left out of acronyms.

I know LGBT may cut it for you,

but for me,

it says that I don’t exist.


We are disregarded in health class.

The teachers spend years

obsessing over childrens’ sexual feelings.

So much so

they forget about

us.

A photo of the moon on a  black background.  No other stars or anything, just a (mostly) full moon.

Our doctors tell us we are broken.

“We can fix you!” they call.

“We have hormones! We have treatment!

There is no way for you to be happy

while you’re like this.”


But I am happy.

Ever since I found myself

and my asexuality,

I have been happy.

I am proud.


I am 1%.

I am strong.


I am ace,


I am a sex-negative ace.


I am myself.


Surely that must be good

enough?

Asexual flag: four color flag with black on top, medium (between light and dark) gray second, white third and purple on the bottom. The purple is a bit more red than blue.

Asexuality is no curse,

it’s a blessing.

Asexuality is finding yourself.

It’s realizing that I am not broken.

In me there is no lack.


Asexuality is understanding who I am,

who I was,

and who I will become.


So you can imagine my frustation

when they report that asexuality is a lack

because in me I do not lack,

I retort, but so often no one listens to us,

the ones who number so few.


So to those who listen there is one final answer

to what it means to be asexual.


What does it mean to be asexual?

Well,

it means everything


to me.

A red-breasted nuthatch perched on a wild cherry branch. No leaves of flowers, just the bird.

Please consider following my blog so that way I can continue to share and educate everyone on what it means to be asexual and queer. I am also aromantic and plan on discussing my experiences as the oft-forgotten letter of LGBTQIA+. Thank you for letting me share my work and my experience.

See you all whenever the inspiration for writing comes next (ETA: unknown).

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